myspiel

Hey everybody

Here are a few things I wish I knew when I was a totally new mom..
(some of my background). I was married in 1999 and moved to the US with my husband. We lived there for 5 1/2 years (studying) ... so you can imagine my life was quite a merge of east and west. don't hesitate to clarify anything I might have said.

So anyways coming back to the topic... new moms... its like swimming-- you learn as you go along. But there are some things that could help to reduce your anxiety... at least it did for me.

1. if you plan to breastfeed, don't worry about your milk supply. For some it kicks in sooner than for others. Mine didn't kick in for at least a couple of weeks... And its hard when you are under the gun... others almost always have tons to say... Anyways just relax... it will come... just put the baby to the breast as often as he/she wants. There are very very few women whose milk supply does not set in at all... just don't give up too soon.
Now look at me I was afraid I wont be able to breastfeed for even 3 months and my baby is solely breast fed for 6 months!! yaaahooo!!!

2. Be prepared for the baby at least a month ahead of your due date. Mine came a week early and thankfully I was prepared. My husband thought I was being obsessive in getting things ready early.
At least have your essentials: your clothes for the hospital, babies clothes and some things to do while you wait and oh don't forget the phone book and camera.

3. Ok I always wondered why in India I was given huge and frequent mugs of milk to drink while in the west they only ask that breast feeding moms drink a lot of water and stay well hydrated. Here's my take on it
In the west breastfeeding moms are encouraged to take prenatal which have extra calcium, folic acid and iron (minerals essential for the body because thats what taken out of the mom to make breastmilk)... So you just need to stay hydrated with good amounts of water... talking of which let me get my glass.
In India women dont take prenats, we are asked to eat healthy and eat for two... now watch out for that. But even then its said that the iron you get from consuming greens is insufficient for moms-to-be so you end up having to take supplements anyways... So milk is the most nutritious drink and so you are given plenty of glasses to drink. And mind you it will be full fat...

I think I would rather take a pill for vitamins and eat a nutritious and calorie counted meal with lots of water... to me it seems like a healthy blend.
anyways let me know what you think.

4. You know why in India the pregnant woman goes to her moms place?
Oh wait till you are pregnant --its your emotions its just all over the place. You sometimes dont realise it but you are quite emotional and need more support (however strong you may feel). You need to be around people who love you unconditionally and you can be sure that the silliest thing you say isn't held against you in the after math.
So twofold... at your moms.. you are at home... You are not having to take care of household affairs as you would have in your own home. You are your mom's baby and she will take care of you, making the best foods at home with care and ensuring your comfort. Perhaps even maybe sharing fun memories... And at your moms you can say the stupidest of things and even have your own way and get away with it. You might not be able to with your inlaws.

The only draw back I see with this situation is that Indian men get all the more withdrawn from their role as a parent to the new born... One hardly talks to an Indian father about diaper changes and who takes care of the baby at night.

The drawback of being in your own home with your husband (and possibly his family) is that the excitement could get your already wacked out emotions totally messed. Everybody might be excited about what to do how and when and, the difference in way things are done could cause conflict if one is not careful. Then also the new mom is incharge of her home she has to make all the day to day decisions and play her part in the efficient functioning of the home. So there is more on her plate.

what do you think.. I guess this plays out differently for different people.

5. Keep somethings the baby used initially... esp if you are the sentimental types. It just fun and weren't you excited when your mom gave you some things that were hers or that you used when you were little or you just wish you had.

so go spend some time at your mom's and see if this tradition has some meaning for you.

... its not all meaningless tradition you know.